It's late Thursday night and i should be in bed asleep, but i am waiting for the dryer to get done so i can pack my clothes for my weekend retreat in the pocono's. I am so excited to have this weekend of fun, friends and focus on God. My daughter, Rachel, said that i should not take my homework with me because i am supposed to be relaxing, but i have 3 hours in the car to get there and 3 hours back. Plus, if i don't get some of my paper done, i will be overwhelmed when i get home. I still have a 5 page paper to write and two final tests to study for by Wednesday. Then, School will be done for me until fall. YAY. Today i registered for two classes in the fall. They will both be night classes so that i will be more available to Rachel during the day. I signed up for Ethics in Counseling and Interviewing skills. They sound pretty neat.
I had to do my oral report last night for Political Science. I was so nervous!!! In my mind, i love the idea of speaking in public. But, once i get up there, i freeze. I really have felt, however, that public speaking is something that the Lord has been leading my to. I don't know why i think that, its just a feeling. But i feel pretty strongly that it is something that i will be doing in the future. So, i am going to have to get over my fear of public speaking. Last night, i just wanted to not get up there and take a 0 for the oral presentation, which is what i used to do in high school. However, i know that would not get me anywhere. We all need to face our fears. So, i wrote a few notes to refer to and prayed, prayed, prayed. The Lord is so good. I asked Him to allow me to go first. It is only a small thing, and it could be a coincidence, But i don't think so. The teacher gave us all random numbers and mine came up to go first. Exactly what i needed. So, i got up there and the teacher was like "oh, michele won't have a problem speaking in front of us, cause she is always talking" . So, i started my speech, which was about a bill which recently passed in the senate that would allow the government to control the tobacco industry. I told the class i chose the article because i am a smoker and i think we should be careful about how much power we hand the government to make our choices for us.I talked about how smoking was illegal in the early 1900's and woman who got caught smoking were arrested and put in jail. I made the point that fast food is dangerous to our bodies also, and how long until it will be illegal to eat a Big-Mac in public. Well, i said alot more than that, but that was the jist of it. I got applause from the class when i was done, and the teacher made a few comments and then told me i did a good job. It felt really good. I only choked up a little in the beginning but after that, it was very easy. Thank God. I know that each time i do this, it will get easier and one day i will be able to talk to a room full of strangers.
Next Monday i am getting inducted into the Human Services Honor Society. Pretty neat stuff. I absolutely love college and would encourage anybody who is stuck in a rut to take a class or two because it really has made me see who i am and what i can do. I am nervous to go out into the work world, but i won't have to face that for a couple more years, and i fully believe that by that time, i will be more prepared in my mind and heart to face my fear of the unknown. It is my desire to graduate and then move to Florida to start my career. We will see what God has in mind for us.
I have been going to a Bible study on Thursday nights on the book "Lies that Woman Believe" it is a really great book, and i am really enjoying getting connected to some of the ladies from my church while we study this book together. I bought the book "Lies that Young Woman Believe" for me and Erin to do together, but we always forget. I really, really want to get that on our schedule so that we do it together once a week. We have done a couple lessons, and we both enjoyed the time and study together, but if you know me, you know that the only consistant thing about me is my inconsistencies. I need to stick to a schedule.
Well, that is it for me tonight. The dryer is done, its after midnight and i think i will pack tomorrow instead. I still have a couple of e-mails to send out (hi, sissy) and then i am going to bed.
Tonight i am thankful for:
1. Time spent cuddling and talking with my 16 year old daughter right before bedtime
2. Time spent talking, laughing and sharing thoughts, joys and fears with the ladies in Bible study
3. God's Word and how it speaks to us each personally