Saturday, January 10, 2009

Big Decisions

I had a great night last night. I got to talk to my sister and my mom--each of them for quite a while. It is so hard to be without my family. I miss them soo much. My sister has been my best friend for my whole life and my mother is my soul mate. I don't think I can ever miss them more than i do right now. One day my kids will realize the gift I am giving them by staying here in DE. It is a sacrifice i make for my kids because i know how hard it is to change schools in high school and they have never moved since they started school. Once my older two graduate though, I am free to move to Florida and be with my family. My hubby has told me often enough that he would be able to transfer to FL and would gladly move there to see me happy. Rachel, my youngest, has wanted to move for years, so even though she will be in school when i plan on moving us, she still wants to go. So......A Few More Years.

I figured out today that i may not be able to graduate until 2012--the same year my son graduates high school. I originally planned to be done by 2011, but I had to reduce the amount of classes i was taking, so even if i take a summer class, i don't think i will graduate till 2012. That means it will take me a total of 5 years to get my degree. I could graduate by 2011 if i take 3 classes every semester, but is graduating one year earlier worth the stress it will put on me and my family? I don't think so. Plus, now that i will be home-schooling my dear daughter Rachel, three classes may make me crazy:). But.., the faster I graduate, the faster I can get a job, make money, and be able to move to FL. But....., i didn't really want to start my career until my youngest was in High School. If all goes according to plan, she will be finishing 9th grade when I graduate.
You may be noticing how I am wavering about how many classes to take and when i should graduate. Well, i haven't made my decision yet and so i am working it out in my head--and here on this blog. If i decide to graduate in 2012 then i can take just 2 classes a semester instead of 3. Three classes at a time was great when i had nothing else to do, but it was time consuming and took many hours of study and writing in order to keep my academic recognition--which i did. Will I have enough time to school Rachel and still do well in my classes-and housework-and cooking- and shopping- and remembering to pay the bills on time- and helping my other kids out with their work, job, and after school activities- and give my homeschooler opportunities for getting out of the house and around other kids- and probably a bunch of other things that i need time for that i can't think of right now. I think that I will probably drop that third class before it starts on tuesday. Then I will still have two classes, but will only need to be away from home one day a week. That will give me time to get Rachel and i into a routine that we can follow (which will be hard for us because we are SO not routine people, though i know they are needed). Well, I'm not really sure what i'm gonna do, but i need to make my decision by Monday in order to drop the class and not have to pay for it. I will probably drop it.

I wish my hubby was the kind of person who has opinions, because he just sais--"whatever you decide i'm sure would be fine" which is nice and all, but it makes me feel like i am in it all by myself. It would be nice to have him play devils advocate or give me another way to look at things. Oh, well, as i always say--I'll figure it out. Wish me luck.

The silver lining? I am so thankful that my husbands salary and our living situation enables me to even go to college AND stay home with my kids to be their when they need or want me. Many people would LOVE to have to struggle with this decision, but their living situations do not permit them to even have the opportunity to stay home with their kids and going to college is only a dream to them. I am so blessed and completely grateful for the opportunities the Lord has given me.

1 comment:

  1. I think you are doing very well in your effort to make a difficult decision. Sounds like you are using good judgement. I would encourage you to make this decision based on your priorities and how you might best accomplish your immediate goals. Be honest with yourself in how much you can handle and then make your choices. P.S. Your dream of living near your family, is my dream too. I love you.